deep down

***

i'm sick of crying,
and i'm sick of regretting.

i'm sick of trying to be consistant
while feeling like a hypocrite.

i'm sick of throwing my dreams out, failing, being harsed
though i was just trying to pleased everybody else.

i'm sick of feeling inferior
and being depressed.

i'm sick of thinking
but never understand.

i'm sick of hoping
but trembling hard inside.

i'm sick of this circle of uncertainity,
always trying to get out
while slowly dragged into the bottom.

and i'm just sick of pretending,
always smiling
while my heart is breaking.

***

( forgive me if this is whining, dear God )